Book Idea: Bruised Ribs

The Start of 2013's Summer

Its summer now.  I graduated from Fremont High School on the 20th of May.  Mandy and Jarrod have found a rental home and should be moving into it in the next two weeks or so.  Tyson and I go to the gym everyday now, he's been teaching me how to lift weights, I love it.  Eden is engaged to be married to Jordan Ballou in the Bountiful temple on August 10th.  We are going to Lake Powell through June 28th-July 7th.  I can hardly wait, its going to be so so fun.  Jarrod bought a boat, its beautiful.  I started my new job at Ray's Auto Body this Tuesday, I like it.  I am looking for a car.  Its summer.

Pregnant Dream

Last night I dreamt that I was pregnant with twins. I remember feeling how the left side of my belly bulged more than the right. Though I got pregnant out of wedlock, I distinctly remember feeling peaceful and strong, I would love these babies with all my heart. A truly interesting dream. I can feel the feeling of it now and have been recalling it all day long. I looked up the symbols and they are hopeful. Dreams.

Motherhood

The Morris family is officially moved up here. We are complete. These children fill spaces in my heart. The other night Tyson and I put Ava and Paisley to bed. We read a story, then the scriptures, then took turns singing songs to them in the dark as we tickled their backs. Yesterday I jumped on the trampoline with Paisley and Boston; we three held hands and jumped, then Pais jumped by herself and I held Boston's hands and bounced with him. I pushed Paisley on the swing and held Boston on my hip. Ava got a splinter, I carried her inside and got it out with a pair of tweezers. I feel at home taking care of children. They fit well in my arms and heart and they make me happy in a different way then other things. Motherhood. What an adventure it will be. The hardest, best job in the world.

One Shot

This last weekend was the Rocky Mountain Choreography Festival. Lib and I did a duet I choreographed and I was in Carrie Lee Miles' piece, Delirium. Carrie's choreography won first place for People's Choice and mine won second place. It was a fun weekend. Sunday was a day of learning. I prayed about where to go to college and what to do. It was the first sunny day in a long time and I sat outside--the snow glowing so white it was almost blinding--and I prayed and cried and prayed. I got an answer, though it wasn't the one I was necessarily looking for. Father told me that whatever I decide, as long as I go at it with all my passion, he will bless me in. He told me that this indecisive, mistrusting state I was in was the problem. So I thanked Him, lifted my chin, and decided what I want--not what mom wants or what Eden wants or what Ray wants. It's time to do what I want--regardless of others' expectations or what they think--because this is my life and I've only got one shot. I'm taking it.

This Woman's Work by Greg Laswell

Becoming

I need to start writing more often. Right now I am at IBT and I dont have rehearsal until 3:30. I taught Eden's classes this morning and I've been here ever since. I did some homework, choreographed a little, and now I am on here, writing and listening to this beautiful piano song: On the Nature of Daylight. Its one of those songs that you can get lost in, I want to choreograph to it.
I'm eighteen now; I can feel it. I am discovering and exploring new ideas and new parts of myself. I am becoming. Maybe if I choreograph to this song thats what it will be called: Becoming. It will be about moving through time, into who you are, maturing and moving forward. That is what I am doing.