I bite my bottom lip, and feel it quiver between my teeth. I will not cry. Be strong, be strong. Class ends, I cry on the way home. I hate myself for crying, I hate that small weak girl that lives inside me. When I get home I shower; the clean, warm water takes away my tears as them come. I cry and cry until I find myself on my knees. I sit there until the water turns cool, then finish showering. I step out and scrub my face dry with a clean towel, as if I could rub this girl away to reveal a stronger one. I wipe away the fog on the mirror and my face is still mine. Tomorrow will be better, I think to myself, tomorrow will be better.
I just want to feel solid. I want to not hate that fearful weak girl; I want her to be strong and determined. I want to be like Eden. I want to never feel like giving up. I hate that I want so much. And I hate that I hate. I always promised I would never hate anyone.
I'm done now. I will just wait for tomorrow, tomorrow will be better. I'll go to bed early, try not to feel anymore tonight. Sleep will help. Stupid stupid emotions, sometimes I wish I were stone.
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