Forgiving

Tonight was West Haven Days. We went to the rodeo and then watched the fireworks. I loved when all the lights in the whole park turned off all at once. My heart ached to have Michael there with me. After, on the way back to the van, we walked passed the girls from that awful ninth grade and the whole group they hang out with. I felt like I could throw up and literally had to stop myself from running away from them. Maybe its just that they hurt me so badly that I have such a hard time being around them. I have forgiven them, but they hurt me worse than I ever had been or have since. I wonder if I will ever speak to them again without being on my guard and clutching my heart tight to keep it from being hurt again. Honestly, I will probably never see any of them again after graduation, and I won't mind that. I pray for strength for when I have to stand in front of their judging eyes and bare my testimony in seminary. I feel that maybe this year I will heal, and rebuild the person I was before they broke me three years ago, but with more experience and a stronger, brighter light inside me. They hurt me more than I can say, but I am grateful for all they taught me. I forgive them.